What's life turning into? A disaster. Dun ask me why i said that. Ytd went to sherman's place for cell group (cg) outing with xin at 3 am. Ppl who went was sherman(duh), cherie, tian en, raylia, constance, gavin, me and xin. We played two table games and we suffered badly. Only me and xin to be more precise. So, we played this zhong ji mi ma and mountain line game. I'm lazy to explain so if u see me ard in school or church, ask me. Then i will explain to u. The forfeit for mountain line game is to either eat 5 french fries, 2 nuggets, a slice of pandan cake, or 4 quadratini biscuit. U may think it's nice but after u kena a lot of times and u keep on eating and eating, like me and xin, u will feel disgusted. After that, the forfeit for zhong ji mi ma is all of the above with holding one big marshmallow in ur mouth for two rounds of the game before u can eat it down. It makes ur jaw pain eh. Then the final round of zhong ji mi ma we put marshmallow with ice cream. Quite nice. Hahas. Then after that left me, constance and xin at sherm's place. We chat and sherm entertained us for really long. There was supposed to be ushering duties but me and constance shunned it. =x Then i went find jerom kor go makan makan. Was really hungry. Went chong pang mac and saw HONG!! Long time didn't see Hong le. Missed her a lot. Then we talked a lot. Hahas. I indirectly kena scold by her eh. Won't say why here. Then she and jerom together bully me. Sobs. Sadden.

Damn angry with 2 person. Not going to scold it here becus it will only dirty my blog. Not going to type vulgarities either. Damn it. All the freaking liars in this world please scram from my world. I would think that u didn't even exist. I doubt anyone here knows who i'm talking about. Dun nid to know anyway. Just hope they scram. I don't nid liars in my world. I noe both were liars from the start and i still choose to believe what others say:" He and she would change, just give he and she a chance." From now on, hell no. Scram please. I think both of them would make a good couple if they knew each other. A mouth full of lies. Lie to others for all i care but i won't be fooled. Just scram from my world and stop existing in my life. Just scram.

Thanks to the church ppl that actually had a late bday celebration for me. =) The cake baked by my friend was really nice! Tomorrow is F&N paper le. Not really worried or anything. But dunno what's going on. I didn't had appetite to eat and been sort of keeping to myself. I've been told not to cut myself so got to stop. Xin came my place today. Then let her watch the ex family. Quite funny. I just know that i am going to be in pieces soon. I am so totally lost with what to do. What can i do to help, i dunno. When can i ever find peace in my life? The class girls are making things difficult for xin hui. I dunno how to help her either. Can't confront them since it will only worsen things. Hais. Xin and horse dog ass also. Problems are crashing down on me like avalanche and i'm suffocating from it. Still have take care of my cousin. Dunno what to do anymore. There's one more problem that i would choose to not name. Hais.

Just let me cease to exist. The things that i hold dear, i can't protect it. Dunno what to do with my life anymore. Just to be honest, i had a crazy thought. I wanted to cut myself 14 times, but i didn't do it so take a breath. =D Hais. Going to try and find a way to eat le. Byes!

Thanks for wishing me happy birthday. Wished that someone was here with me but oh well. Hais. Not much ppl remembered. But i didn't say anything also. So depressed. Tmr is maths paper le. Preparing to meet my doom. I dunno what else can i do but wait for you.. My aunt gave me a fright today. I didn't had her no. so i was having trouble thinking who she was. She wished me happy birthday and fooled me into thinking she's a guy and wanted to ask me out. Lol. My aunt like to fool me and play with the younger generation. Hahas. My kor gave me a present that's damn freaking nice!! He made it himself during DnT. It was a necklace. It's really nice. It's one of the nicest present i have ever gotten in years! Gosh! The pendant is in the shape of a snowflake. Reminds me of "daddy" a.k.a snowman. Hahas. Thanks a lot, kor! =) Dunno if i should do the preparatory work for art so that i can save some marks anot.. Hais. Those who haven't get me present is ok. I dun really nid anything so dun rack your brain over thinking what to get for me. Just jiayous for ur exams barh! =)

Hey peeps! Lol. Very hungry.. Didn't eat since ten a.m. Sobs. Nothing to eat at home. A lot of ppl bdae coming le eh. I still haven't get some of their presents yet eh. Panic panic. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Cherie! Today her birthday. Hahas. Today geog paper. Quite easy. Tmr is mother tongue paper le. How i wish someone is by my side now. Hais. The cut slightly pain only. Very sian now. Oh well, after exams, the npap ppl will get together again!! Hahas. Another outing will be done. The previous one was really fun. Hahas. Looking forward to the outing. =) This time round, hope everyone can be present. =)

Go study le. Nites!

So freaking bored! I cut myself today. Two lines on my wrist. One bled and the other didn't but the mark is still there. Thumb kena a minor cut also. The cut that bled was a minor one, didn't bled a lot, just a bit. I didn't cut it deep or anything. I used a fragment of the broken glass. Oh well, didn't expect to cut myself either. I guess jes and xin and my jies and kors will kill me when they know barh. Well, all i got to say is life is in a mess. Real mess. I have my problems and i think my friendship is falling apart soon. I dunno who is saying the truth, i dunno who to trust, i dunno who to talk to if they quarrel. Why can't things just mantain the same, though i know it's impossible. Life is so freaking me out. No mood for birthdays but it's a once in year thing and it has to fall on a time when i'm having exams and always not free to give a damn about it. I totally forget about it this few days till my kor passed me my present ytd. Exams are stressing me out. I know my MCs are doing me much more harm than good. I'm missing out on a lot of things. I'm handling history, literature, english and chinese well but i can't say the same for the other subjects. I'm prepared to fail art already. I didn't submit my preparatory work and i didn't do anything at all. I'm all prepared to die. Hope my overall won't be affected too much cus of me failing my art. I'm prepared to get MC on that day if there's a need to. I know i'm doing fine for home econ but maths, science, geography.. I can't say for sure le. So freaking out! I dun wan to bother about exams but how can i not? It's streaming year and i dun wan to go to the focus class. I dun mind going 3e7 or 3e8 but definitely not 3e9. It will not help at all for 'O' levels. Hais. All i can say to myself now is

JIAYOUS! :)

Guess i go slp le barh. There's still school tmr. Nights people!

Went church to study. Still coughing. Sian. School actually spreading rumor that me and wei hao stead before. A bit stupid actually. Find bf also won't find from own school de lor. If not, break le then see each other will awkward like hell de. Now very sian lor. Shall post lyrics.

Song: You belong with me (taylor swift)

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset

She's going off about something that you said

Cause she doesn't get your humor like i do

I'm in a room, it's a typical Tuesday night

I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like

Cause sheell never know your story like i do

But she wear short skirts, i wear t-shirts

She's cheer captain and i'm on the bleachers

Dreaming 'bout the day when you'll wake up and find

And what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that i'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see me, you belong with me

You belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn out jeans

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself

Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town

I haven't seen it in awhile since she brought you down

You say you're fine i know you better than that

Hey watcha doing with a girl like that?

She wear high heels, i wear sneakers

She's cheer captain and i'm on the bleachers

Dreaming 'bout the day that you'll wake up and find

And what you're looking for, has been here the whole time

If you could see that i'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see me, you belong with me

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your backdoor

All this time how could you not know baby...

You belong with me

You belong with me

Oh, i remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry

I know your favourite songs and you tell me about your dreams

Think i know where you belong and i think it's with me

Can't you see i'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see?

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your backdoor

All this time how could you not know baby...

You belong with me

You belong with me

You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe..

You belong with me

You belong with me

For those who didn't see me in school and dunno what in the world happen to me, i'm sick once again. Serious throat infection but i still can talk. I ald get 18 days worth of mc le eh.. Life is in a serious mess so i'm hating life. Going back school tmr. I wanted to let my blog be dead but, oh well, just revive it bah. I can't really disclose personal things though it's my blog cus i have "paparazzis" ppl from my sch viewing my blog (not talking abt nameless). Anything u ppl wan noe, can come find me. I may plunge into another pool of relationship but it's not confirmed yet. I will only know till much later, i guess. I haven't been in much contact with my ex. Hais. My "daddy" is very busy with his gf to find me loh. So sad. All my jie jie also very busy. Kor kor also. So now my hanging out buddies have become jes and xin but the stupid marcos say i snatch his gf. Zzz.. He then snatch my friend arh. The pot calling the kettle black. == Exams are coming and it's getting late so night loh. :)